The New York Auto Show is happening right now and while I was not fortunate to be able to attend, I will be ignoring that small annoyance and will cover it as if I am actually there. Here’s a run down of the cars I wish I could be awkwardly caressing right at this very moment…

Cadillac CTS - Well frankly this is just gorgeous. I want to motorboat that grill. This is the first car from Cadillac that looks to have been directly inspired by the Ciel Concept of a couple of years ago, this new CTS finally gets its proportions correct…and when I say correct I mean the new CTS is now the most attractive vehicle in its class. Interior is gorgeous, it’s 200 pounds lighter than the BMW 5-Series, and sports roaring twin-turbo V6?! Yeah, yes please.

Acura MDX - It’s here. It’s boring. It’s still got that wretched Sony boombox circa 2004 interior Acura is addicted to. No one cares. Who buys an Acura?

Kia Forte Coupe - I used to act all surprised when Kia showed a car that was really attractive but now that’s the norm so I’m just going to say that I’m glad they’re keeping up their pretty-streak. The Kia Forte Coupe looks freaking fantastic. Keeping it’s Audi A5-like roofline the Forte Coupe gains some really impressive head and tail lights and wonderful proportions. Mercedes must feel really weird that this little Kia looks far and away more special than it’s Honda-Accord-wannabe C-Class coupe.

Audi A3 Sedan - Acknowledging that Americans (and the Chinese) are apparently allergic to hatchbacks (because you guys are stupid, hatchbacks rock), Audi is giving us an A3 sedan this time around. Looks great, wonderful protortioning for this size class, and sports a simple, modern, and high quality interior. Look for the hatch and convertible version soon as well.

Toyota Highlander - Toyota has finally been coming around to the fact that if they want the automotive press to stop complaining about their vehicles looking like refrigerators  they’re going to have to start making good-looking cars. Well, the Avalon was a good start and this Highlander improves upon that. It’s not going to set anyone’s pants on fire with passion but at least it has some interesting detailing and good proportions.

Honda Odyssey refresh - They put a vacuum in the back for vacuuming up your precious little brat’s cheerios and flowbee-ing their hair in the school parking lot. Think you get a break from vacuuming while you take your kids to school Mom?! Well Honda says THINK AGAIN b*tch!!

Jeep Cherokee - I was wrong with my initial assessment. The new Cherokee is hideous. Just wrong. It will eat your children.

Here he is everyone! The 2014 Chevrolet Corvette. They’re calling this one a “Stingray” but to me it’s not really a stingray…it’s more an evolution of the current design. STILL it does look very good and the interior looks much much better. Americana to the max!…

I met Peter Schreyer, the dude who designed the 2014 Kia Forte you see above, out here in LA. He’s a gruff and direct German who almost made me cry because he made me feel like he didn’t love me. No matter, he’s still pumping out rather grand designs for his South Korean sugar daddy, Kia.

I got to caress the 2014 Kia Forte at the 2012 LA Auto Show a few days ago and it’s a solidly pretty car with a lot to offer. The interior, while actually surprisingly dull (and seriously faux carbon fiber?! No ma’am), is chock full o’features that are sure to surprise and delight your friends. Everything from Navigation, LED accented headlights, and heated front and rear seats are on offer. Not to mention the fact that real people, with real legs, will be able to sit in the back and be perfectly comfortable for the long haul.

Accross the hall the “new” 2013 Civic (which is really only an update to the car the press lambasted last year) sat. It looked really sad compared to this little diamond. As it should.

Kia is on a roll. With Audi alum Peter Schreyer at the helm Kia has been churning out one design hit after another. I may even start calling myself a Kia groupie.

Kia has now released a couple of official sketches detailing what the look of the redesigned 2014 Kia Forte will look like. With taut, athletic detailing the next Forte looks to be a stunner…and if the SEDAN looks this good just imagine how mouth-watering the coupe version of this delicious little piece of Teutonic kimchi will be.

Look out FIAT 500, MINI, and Audi A1…the Opel Adam is here (you don’t count SMART, you’re hideous and awful so just go away)…and judging from its appearance, the Opel Adam is here to make friends with those other cars, not annihilate them, it’s just THAT happy looking. Of course what’s a small car these days without a grinning visage?

The Opel Adam actually looks like the love-child of a FIAT 500 and an Audi A1. It has the FIAT’s general shape but mixes in some of the aggressiveness of the A1, not to mention the A1′s contrasting roof arches. That blue and white one is really making me feel nautical in a good way, not in a 1995 Mercury Villager “Nautica Edition” way…

The “womp womps” start to come with the interior which is a bit of a disappointment. That’s not to say it’s bad…it actually looks fine. I’m even embarrassingly in-love with that twinkle-light roof ambient lighting they have going on there. Beyond the gimmicky-in-a-good-way sparkle roof I can’t help but feel that stylistically this interior is dated. The round vents, the body-colored plastic bits, the function-follows-form grouping of buttons (unlock, lock, and seat heater all in one clump?!)…this is all stuff we’ve seen before…way before…as in 1998 VW New Beetle before. The interior on Peugeot’s new 208 is far more modern and progressive in its use of shape and detailing. The Adam’s interior? Blah, but not bad. Also if you squint at that close-up photo of the yellow center console it looks like a screaming muppet and that’s just freaky (see below).

Where does the name “ADAM” come from you ask? Why Adam Opel of course, the founder of Opel. How damn clever.

I can’t help but think how awesome it would be if Buick could find a way to sell this in the states. I’ve driven all of Buick’s current offerings and those are some damn good cars but when you mention the name Buick to anyone under 70 they cringe like you used the word “bling” (not cool Grandpa). Something small and sassy could be just what Buick needs to cast of that “old dude’s car” image that clings onto the brand like a re-animated mummy clings to Rachel Weisz. Call it the “David” after David Dunbar Buick the founder of Buick and then stamp a big happy face right onto my cheek.

ALSO, hey kidz! While you’re at it, hop on your Razor Scooter and take a quick look at this far-out video that their marketing department threw together as a kinda “trailer.” Seriously how terribly dated is this? It’s like a video time capsule of 2001. At least we know were all those interstitial producers from MTV’s “Next” ended up.

Yikes huh? Opel, if you want to know what a “hip” trailer for your new super-mini should look like take a look at this one for the new Peugeot 208. What you need is hot models, jumping and sexing. Trust me.

Mazda has just dropped their first teaser for the upcoming all-new Mazda6 midsize sedan. If you don’t know what the current one looks like…well, you’re not really missing anything. Mazda is looking to fix that this time around. They may be on to something very good…

So if you really know me…and I mean REALLY know me you would know that the early part of my car-loving-life was included a rather deep love for Mazda. Mazda is the perpetual Japanese underdog making scrappy, sporty, and sometimes shockingly pretty cars while the Japanese big-three (Honda, Toyota, and Nissan) march along stamping out their mass-market dull boxes.

Of course all my Mazda-love was happening around the year 2000 when Mazda was well under the comforting wing of the Ford Motor Company. Mazda of today is in a rather precocious position with Ford divesting their controlling shares just a few years back. This happened right at the end of a malaise period for Mazda in which they followed-up the wonderful original Mazda6 with a bloated NA-market-only whale that floundered on the market because, well, it was a boring whale. Add to this the freakish cartoon-look follow-up to the original Mazda3 and yeah, Mazda is not doing so well.

We’ve been seeing glimmers of light though recently. Mazda’s new “Kodo” design language looks to banish the smile-y faces their recent cars had burned into out minds (in a bad way, they were scary looking). Kodo is an interesting and progressive design language that combines the fluidity of Asian design with the Teutonic proportion-worshiping sensibility of zee German design houses.

Time to get scrappy again Mazda. You can peep at some spy shots of the wagon version of the Mazda6 at the following link courtesy of Autoblog. Yum I say!

http://www.autoblog.com/photos/mazda6-wagon-spy-shots/